Wanneer is het goed genoeg voor jou?

Julia vertelt me enthousiast dat ze enorm veel gedaan had op het gebied van zelfontwikkeling. Ontelbare boeken heeft ze verslonden. Vele cursussen gedaan. Misschien nog wel meer video’s op YouTube bekeken. Maar ze was er nog niet! Ze was nog niet ‘klaar’. Er kan nog heel wat verbeterd worden. Daar was ze zeker van.

 

Maar er was goede hoop hoor!
Er was een nieuwe boek uitgekomen die ze zou lezen. Daarna zou ze eindelijk gelukkig zijn. Een nieuwe video waar iedereen over sprak. Een ‘must see’ met goede tips om succesvol te zijn. En niet te vergeten de cursus waar ze zichzelf voor ingeschreven had, daar keek ze ook naar uit. Na die cursus zou haar leven een vogelvlucht nemen.

 

Eindelijk zal ze haar doel halen.
Zal ze succesvol zijn. Goed genoeg. Gelukkig zijn. Met stralende ogen kijkt ze me verwachtingsvol aan. Ik kijk terug en glimlach. Ik herken het en zie het vaker. We werken hard om nog beter, gelukkiger, mooier, etc. te zijn. We doen er alles aan om aan ‘het plaatje’ te voldoen.

Maar wat is dat plaatje? Hoe ziet dat eruit, wie bepaalt dat plaatje, vraag ik me weleens af. Hoe definieer je succesvol? Geluk? Wanneer ben je perfect? Wat betekent dat voor jou? En wanneer is het genoeg? Dat was mijn eerste vraag aan Julia.

 

Wanneer is het goed genoeg voor jou?
Een diepe stilte valt. Ze was niet echt blij met mijn vraag, dat zag ik wel. Julia had daar namelijk nog niet over na gedacht. Ze is zo lang bezig geweest om perfect te zijn, een goed mens, liefde te kennen. Zo bezig om het ideale plaatje voor de toekomst na te streven dat ze 1 ding vergeten was; en dat was haarzelf. En niet alleen haarzelf, maar ook het leven nu.

 

We leven niet gister, niet in de toekomst, we leven nu.
Nu had ik een uitdaging. Hoe ga ik dit tactisch brengen? Hoe ga ik haar vertellen dat het prima is om boeken te lezen, cursussen te volgen, video’s te bekijken maar dat aan de andere kant je bent wie je bent en je van jezelf al goed bent? Dat het de uitdaging is om NU te leven. Dat dat je veel meer opbrengt. En je een hoop boeken, cursussen, tijd, geld, inspanning en frustratie scheelt?

 

We zijn genoeg
Ik kende een van de boeken die ze gelezen had en gaf haar dat boek. Ik vroeg haar om blz. 45 open te slaan en daarvan de 2e alinea eens hardop voor te lezen. Er stond:

We zijn allemaal op zoek naar erkenning, acceptatie, gehoord en gezien worden. Om dat te krijgen zoeken we dat buiten onszelf. We zijn we bereid om hard te werken, veel geld uit te geven en diep door het stof te gaan.

Wat we vergeten is dat alles wat je wilt binnen handbereik is. Iedereen perfect is zoals hij of zij is. Als we het voor elkaar krijgen om ons zelf lief te hebben, te accepteren zoals we zijn, onszelf erkennen. Onszelf horen en zien…volgt te rest vanzelf. Automatisch.

 

Julia, las dit, was even stil en dan verschijnt er een glimlach op haar gezicht. Ze heeft de boodschap begrepen. Jij ook?

Karen van Hout

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